Of Pockets and Flowers
by mentaru
Summary: Roxas wants to know if the Organization coats have pockets, Axel is deathly afraid of flowers, and Marluxia is gayer than ever. [barelyAkuroku & MarluxiaFlowers] [crack] [oneshot]


OF POCKETS AND FLOWERS

**by **mentaru

**rated **T//PG13 (for language)

**summary** Roxas wants to know if the Organization coats have pockets, Axel is deathly afraid of flowers, and Marluxia is gayer than ever. Akuroku (sorta); MarluxiaFlowers. Crack, pointless, random. One-shot.

**disclaimer **Don't own Kingdom Hearts II. Squisney and Testsuya Nomura do. I envy them. So much. Cry.

**a/n **Haha, so this is the most pointless piece of writing on the planet. I started writing it in Creative Writing one day, on a prompt about what you would find in the pocket of whatever jacket or coat you had pictured in your mind. Of course, my thoughts immediately jumped to the Organization, and this is what spawned from that thought. But on a slightly more serious note, sometimes I call the Organization "Order" only because when we first heard about them, people thought they were called the 13th Order. It sounds better (to me) and it's shorter to write. So don't think I made this stupid typo, coz I did it on purpose. XD And please excuse the utter randomosity and dumbness of this entire thing. But please enjoy.

--

"Hey Axel," Roxas started one lovely day in the World That Never Was—though nothing was ever _really_ lovely. "Do these coats"—he looked down at his Organization trademark with a curious glance—"have pockets?" Axel stared at the youngest member with a blank look.

"Uh," he stated dumbly, blinking, pondering the question. He'd never really thought about it before, nor had it ever really crossed his mind to look for a pocket before. What would you need to put in one, since they had that awesome power to summon weapons from thin air?

...Or was it really thin air?

"Well," Axel tried again after coming to this ponderous twist in his knowledge of the world. "I don't really know. I've never looked." Roxas furrowed his blonde brows ever so slightly, lips pursing cutely in frustration. Axel had to resist his urge to make out with the younger boy. _Only fifteen, Axel! Only fifteen! And you're_—well, he didn't really know how old he was, but he knew it probably wouldn't look good on his record if he took advantage of a fifteen-year-old, who just so happened to have the cutest—well, everything. Then again, you couldn't rape the willing—

"But there has to be one somewhere..." Roxas interrupted Axel's inner turmoil, which the blonde did not seem to be noticing. "All coats have pockets."

Axel coughed inconspicuously, and Roxas ignored it. "Well, shorty, if you really want to find out that badly, go talk to Marluxia. He's the one who designed them. I'll even go with you—Marluxia's room can be a frightening place." He shuddered, thinking of all the brightly colored floral designs. Everywhere.

"Uh. Axel? Are you okay?"

"What?" the red-head replied rather shortly, mind jumping back to reality.

"You looked... really pale."

Axel laughed nervously. "Ah-ha, no. I'm fine. Let's go."

--

The aroma of lilacs and roses lilted through the corridor in which Marluxia's room was located. Axel clung to Roxas' arm and looked utterly ridiculous, considering how much taller he was than the blonde.

"Axel. What are you doing?" He tried tugging his arm from Axel's grip; to no avail. "Let go of my arm."

Axel shook his head. "No. I can't," he told the shorter boy, clinging tighter.

"What? Yes you can. It's called 'stop being retarded and loosen your death grip on my arm.' Got it memorized?" he mocked just because he was an ass like that sometimes. Axel stared down at him with a "Hey! That's my line!" sort of face. Indignant. That was the word. Resentful. He would have smacked the blonde, but he was currently too preoccupied with not letting go of Roxas' arm. "You're the one who wanted to come here in the first place, anyway," Roxas finished, frowning and still futilely trying to tug his arm from Axel's grip of steel.

Axel smirked. "_Actually_," he started matter-of-factly, "you're the one. I merely informed you of the designer and said I'd go with you—I just didn't tell you I'm deathly afraid of flowers." He shuddered at his traumatizing childhood flora memory.

Roxas stared at the pyromaniac as if he were insane. "Deathly afraid of _flowers_?" he repeated back incredulously.

Axel laughed nervously. "Uh. Yeah."

Roxas' face twisted in confusion. "But..." he started. "You could just... _burn_ them." This, of course, had obviously never occurred to Axel, as the red-head immediately let go of Roxas' arm, letting one fall limply beside him, while he brought the other at his chin in a ponderous manner. Blinking, he tried to rationalize this. Had he just been outsmarted by a fifteen-year-old?

"Oh. I guess so." There was a moment of silence before something clicked in his mind. "But no!" he stated triumphantly, jabbing a mocking finger toward Roxas. The younger boy, needless to say, was slightly frightened. "I'd still be afraid of them before I burned them, so I wouldn't have the courage to burn them in the first place. It would solve nothing!" _Ha._ Now _he_ had outsmarted the fifteen-year-old—which... wasn't really an accomplishment per se, considering Axel still didn't know his own age... Whatever.

Roxas was a little weirded out and tried not to make direct eye contact with the psycho walking next to him. "Okay. Whatever, Mr. 'Flurry of Dancing Flames.' But I'm going to have to go in, so if you want something to cling on"—wait, was he just _suggesting_ that this nutcase could cling on him? And why was there an annoying snickering in his head every time he thought the words "cling on"? Fuck, did he have a Trekkie in his head? ...Goddammit—"you'll have to come in with me."

Axel's face brightened at this statement—Roxas was giving him _permission_ to cling to him! Maybe this was progress for getting permission to do—

"Yo! Floraphobic!" Roxas called from the end of the hall. Axel blinked. What the hell? Had he really just spent that long thinking about—

"Axel! What the hell? You coming or not?"

Axel shook of the slight discombobulation. He would just ignore the fact that somehow, within he span of less than ten seconds, Roxas had managed to get all the way down the expansive corridor. "Err—yeah!" he called back, shaking his head again, just to make sure all his confusion was gone. Although, immediately upon reaching the youngest member of the Order, he latched himself onto said member's arm. Roxas only rolled his eyes and proceeded to knock.

--

"So, what brings you two to my lovely garden?" Marluxia asked the two of them in almost a sing-song voice, delicately picking up a few flowers and spinning rather gaily toward them, finally stopping in front of them, holding out two lavender lilacs. Axel's face twitched and he lent backwards to get away from the horrid plants, and when the two other members neither spoke nor took the proffered welcoming flower and only stared at the nature element as if he were a loon (which they both already thought he was), he lilted away, replacing the two lilacs in a thin vase on a pedestal, kissing the blossoms lovingly. He flitted back to number eight and thirteen, who were both exchanging looks of "Is he _always_ like this?" and "God, you have _no idea_." Both were also equally frightened, although Axel more so than Roxas—so I suppose they weren't so _equally_ frightened, but they were both very frightened nonetheless.

"Uhh," Roxas started intelligently, still so taken aback by the sheer gayness of number eleven.

Marluxia picked up a stray rose and brought it to his nose in possibly the gayest way Roxas had ever seen—it was so gay, in fact, there are just no words to describe it. "Yes?" he asked, taking in the scent of the beautiful flower before looking at Roxas with a giant smile plastered on his face and—God, was that a _sparkle_ in his eye? Was the gay flower man trying to _turn him on_?

The blonde shuddered and looked to Axel (who was currently sitting rather curiously like L) for support. Unfortunately, Axel was far too preoccupied with Roxas' crotch to—wait a minute. _Crotch_? "AXEL! What the fuck are you doing?!" Axel looked up at Roxas' furious face sheepishly, while Marluxia was horrified and hugged the nearest flowers so that they would not hear such foul language.

"Shh," number eleven told them, rubbing his cheek against their smooth petals, "I won't let you listen to such rude language, my beauties."

"Roxas, let me explain!" Axel pleaded, still crouched in his L position. Roxas glowered down at him, while Marluxia was watching from the sideline, intent.

"Look, my loves, lover's quarrel!" the nature element whispered gleefully to his flowers (which he was still hugging).

"You _know_ I'm deathly afraid of flowers! I—I needed something to keep my mind off of them—"

"SO YOU STARE AT MY CROTCH?!" Roxas fumed, ripping himself from the cowering Axel, who, in turn, squealed in fright of the exposure to so many flowers and no shield.

"R-Roxas, no! That's not what I meant!" He squeezed his eyes shut, arms over his head as if a tornado were coming.

"Tch. Yeah right. You're just faking it all to get closer to me so you can take advantage of me and then fucking _ass-rape_ me! I know how your mind works, you lecher!"

Marluxia, for once not enjoying the show, grabbed a bouquet of assorted flowers and fluttered over to the two quarreling members of the Order. "Roxas, he's not lying, you know."

Roxas turned to Marluxia, and was once again taken aback by just how _gay_ he was. He shuddered. "Well... how do I know you're not lying too?"

Marluxia sighed (and Roxas was surprised again at how gay he managed to make everything—God, it sounded like he was moaning or something—eew). "Because, Roxas, he's torturing himself to just be here with you right now. See?" He moved the flowers closer to Axel, who flinched and squeaked again in fright.

Roxas' temper softened. "Okay, okay... I blew up. Sorry." Axel's head perked up, a grin plastered on it; Marluxia flitted away, setting his flowers back where they belonged, bestowing a kiss upon each of their blossoms before he fluttered back to eight and thirteen.

"So," Marluxia started. "What was it that you two came for?"

"Ohh," Roxas began, having completely forgotten about why he _had_ come here. "Well, I wanted to ask something."

"Anything," Marluxia informed him gaily, dancing in a circle now with his favorite rose.

Roxas, a bit weirded out again, tried to ignore the _very_ fruity man dancing in front of him. "Uhh. Okay. Well, do these coats have pockets?" Axel, who had crawled back over to Roxas' arm, was looking up expectantly at Marluxia.

"Pockets?" Marluxia repeated, ceasing his dancing to tap the blossom of the rose to his mouth in thought. Roxas nodded, still trying to ignore number eleven. "Nope, I don't think so." He grinned and continued his dancing.

"WellheansweredthequestionRoxaslet'sgo!" Axel said rather quickly, mushing all the words together into a big giant word of jibberish. Roxas blinked and was being tugged out of Marluxia's room seconds later.

"Hey!" Roxas scolded once they were out of the room and _very_ far away from it—Axel had sprinted all the way down the corridor and as far as he could before he ran out of breath. "What the hell! I wasn't done in there! I still want to know _why_ they don't have pockets."

Axel hmpfed. "Tough shit, Roxy."

"Roxy?" the blonde repeated indignantly. "I'd prefer _not_ to be called 'Roxy,' thank you very much—got it memorized?"

"You fucker! Stop stealing my line! Got it fuckin' memorized?"

"Only if you tell me why the hell you're deathly afraid of flowers." The blonde smirked.

"Fine. I was traumatized by this annoying little girl who always wanted to sell me flowers. She was always up in my face, and one day she made me follow her into this giant garden and I couldn't find my way out for days. It was utterly horrifying. So many flowers..." He shuddered. Roxas laughed. "What? You have to be deathly afraid of something, too."

"Okay, fair enough. Heights." Axel stared at the blonde, eyebrow raised.

"Heights?"

"It's better than _flowers_! And besides, I always have this premonition that if I ever go anywhere especially high, I'll end up falling—like off a clock tower or something. No, I'm serious, Axel! Stop laughing! Besides, I believed your retarded flower story, anyway, and mine's _way _more plausible." Axel snorted, trying to control his laughter.

"Roxas, you're so naïve. You really believe I'm deathly afraid of _flowers_?"

Roxas stared. Slowly, his face twisted into a murderous glare. "YOU BASTARD! IT _WAS_ JUST AN ACT!"

Axel ran. Fast.

"Get back here you lecher!" Roxas yelled, running after the red-head, intent on kicking his ass—not that Axel really had one to kick. "I'm going to kick your ass!"

"Yeah, well I wouldn't get too close, or I might _rape_ yours!" Axel called over his shoulder, snickering. "Oh, but I _forgot_! You CAN'T—RAPE—THE _WILLING_!" He smirked as Roxas fumed and ran faster.

This was going to be _one_ interesting night. _Oh yeah_.

**O W A R I**

**a/n **Yep. That's it. But I'd just like to point out a few things: I was not gay-bashing at all, because, frankly, I like gay people. You have to keep in mind that Roxas probably hasn't accepted the fact that's he so totally GHEY for Axel, so he's all weirded out by it still. XDD Also, Floraphobia doesn't actually exist. I made it up because like HELL Roxas would actually know the real phobia's name (I had to look it up; it's Anthrophobia). And the whole Trekkie thing... I apologize for the terrible pun. XD;; I couldn't help myself, and just so you know, I happen to have a good friend who's a Trekkie so that's probably where that came from. Um, let's see... next on my list... Ah. The L thing. Hopefully all of you know who L is—and if not, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! XDD;; Sorry. Death Note is awesome, and if you haven't read it, you don't know what you're missing.

**I also inserted some words to the end of a quote from an old short story you probably had to read in English. If you can tell me what the original quote is, what short story it's from, and who wrote it, I might take a random one-shot request. (I'll give you a hint: it's in the dialogue.)**

**Also, there's a reference near the end that no one has caught yet! (Well, if someone has, they haven't bothered to tell me in a review. HINTHINT.) Anyway, if you catch it and mention it in a review, I might also take a one-shot request. (Hint: it's not the clock tower thing. Sorry. XD)  
**

Okay, I'm done now. **Word count**—2045. Sweet. Please review! Coz I'll loooove you foreeeeever!!


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